I’m always hearing about invisible illness. Please share if you know someone who has an invisible illness, says social media. Why, do they need more sympathy? Well I’m here to tell you, when you have a visible illness, sympathy ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Let me give you a little scenario:
You go into a shop, you’ve never been there before and the total stranger from behind the counter thinks it might be nice to say…
“Oh dear! That doesn’t sound good!”
Or its cousin, “You sound bad!”
Just because you have a little asthmaticy cough. Now I’m not talking about Covid paranoia. This started well before Covid was a glint in the eye of a tasty bat.
Being told all day long that you don’t sound good, isn’t good! Keep your thoughts of my goodness or badness to yourself please!
Scenario number two:
You’re on the phone to a help desk. Instead of saying “how can I help you today?” The Helper says …
“Oh no, you sound sick!” Just because your nose is blocked from chronic hayfever and nasal polyps.
“I’m ok,” I say, thinking lets get onto business.
“You must have a really nasty cold!” they say over the top of me.
“Ha ha,” I laugh joylessly. “No, that’s just my voice. This is how I always sound.”
Frequently the call will end with a “Hope you feel better soon!”
What? Why? I’ll feel better if you can fix my internet problems.
Now you’re possibly thinking I sound very ungrateful. Well you’re right. I’m not grateful at all for being told I sound bad, sick, and wretched. It makes me wonder how it is for people with really obvious conditions or disabilities, that might be different from the norm. How much unwanted sympathy must they have to manage?
So, please feel free to talk about your invisible illness. I’m all for education and empathy. I’m not in any way saying we shouldn’t learn about these illnesses, just leave my visible one out of it please.
Amanda Gambas Author 