Strange Meat

Mmm, the cooking room smells good. But it usually does, compared to other rooms in the house. Something been cooking.  I look around and sniff a lot, like a lot, lot. My nose is very confused. I see the meat and it looks tasty enough. It looks really tasty, it must be for me!  

But when I bite down on it my mouth is very surprised by the soft fluffiness of the meat. Why is it so soft?  Why doesn’t it taste like meat? I don’t need to chew it at all!  I swallow it and then take another bite.  Why am I taking another bite? I like it. It doesn’t taste like I expected but it taste good. Mmmmm. More, no one is looking, I gulp down two more bites. It’s sweet and moreish.  But most things are moreish to me anyway, so that’s nothing new. Oh what’s that? A fly? No, a bee, leave that alone. Sore puffy face when I eat bees.

“Oh no! What have you done!” A very loud voice screams behind me.  I look around and see my human running towards me with their arms in the air. They look very silly.

“Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!” 

What? Why are they so angry?

“Oh no!” They say again. “Why did you eat the cake?”

Cake? What is cake?  I guess they are talking about the tasty treat they left me.  I ate it because it was there and looked delicious.  It was delicious. Not what I expected but very delicious.

“It took me ages to make that stupid cake! There goes the centre piece for the Rooster Bar’s twenty year anniversary! Whoever requests a dumb cake shaped like a roast chicken anyway? Now what am I going to do?”

I have no idea what my human is talking about.  So I give them a sympathetic look.  It usually helps.

“Don’t look at me with those puppy dog eyes!  You know you’re a very bad dog!”

This is again confusing.  Yes I have puppy dog eyes. I am a puppy dog, no? Still don’t understand why I’m so very bad.  I look at her and show how sad I feel about her accusations. I move my eyebrows around. She usually likes that.

Then I have a great idea! I think my human is angry because they were left out of the strange meat eating. So, I run up to the plate and try to give it to the human, to share.  The plate falls onto the floor. That is good, because the last of the meat is nice and easy for the human to eat some with me. Off the floor. Mmm much better.  But they don’t seem to be happy about that either.  They make another wailing noise and groan, and sort of sniff. I am only trying to share the delicious strange meat with them.  I wouldn’t do that for just anyone. There’s no pleasing some people.